View Full Version : Deep Thoughts......by b_v_d
b_v_d
11-03-2002, 02:55 AM
A tribute to Jack Handey
b_v_d
11-03-2002, 02:56 AM
and a spin-off of the Kane C show
b_v_d
11-03-2002, 02:56 AM
Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someones neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because, what is that thing.
KANE_6969
11-03-2002, 03:02 AM
LMAO Starting trends across the o****ry
~~~The Legend is here~~~ do teh disney land one lol
H-Bomb
11-03-2002, 03:13 AM
Wow B! That was like..... Deep! And I still think it sounds sexual!
EVIL_DEMONESS
11-03-2002, 03:28 AM
Ok hey Brett! Hey all you fockers out there! *waves* Ok I don't know wtf i'm doing can you tell? :o) Anyway... i'm posting stuff hell yeah go me!! Brett i love you!!!!!
b_v_d
11-04-2002, 06:53 PM
It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.
KANE_6969
11-04-2002, 07:27 PM
BVD is a pimp... Man post the lil kid story
H-Bomb
11-05-2002, 01:34 AM
Awwww.... I'd hug the crying guy then date the laffing guy!
Hmmm, I bet God is the crying guy, cuz he's so thenthitive.
KANE_6969
11-05-2002, 03:10 AM
lmao@ the faggish lispthh
b_v_d
11-06-2002, 01:51 AM
lol shes a she dude
one time when i was a kid, I was walking through the forest when a man in a stripey uniform and chains on his legs grabbed me
He told me that if I didnt bring him food and tools that he would kill my entire family
I wonder what ever happened to that guy
KANE_6969
11-06-2002, 11:44 AM
did you seriously bring him food and tools?
I always figured you as the helping type....Did hehave you touch his nono place?
b_v_d
11-06-2002, 07:27 PM
lol
b_v_d
11-06-2002, 07:29 PM
One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said. "Disneyland burned down." He cried and cried, but I think that deep down, he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late.
KANE_6969
11-07-2002, 12:16 AM
LMAO I gotta do that to a kid one day...That is so ****in funny... LMAO.. Life lopnmg torment. Imagine everytimet he kid seen a burnt building lmao
H-Bomb
11-07-2002, 07:37 AM
Heyyyy now.... I can't help the lithp no more than you can help the ego!
H-Bomb
11-07-2002, 07:38 AM
Def, where is your no no spot?
KANE_6969
11-07-2002, 11:18 PM
Who is H-Bomb anyways? what is ytour yahoo name.. Update your profile.. Do you like to get really drunk and have sedx that you will black out and forget about.. Also are you attractive? I'll show you what gives me the real reason to have an ego :)
H-Bomb
11-09-2002, 02:03 AM
Just LOL! "And thats all I have to say about that."
( I stole that from Foresttt, Forestt Gumpp)
KANE_6969
11-09-2002, 03:43 PM
LMAO Its hannah hahahahhaa... I'm sucvh a dumbass and a pig... Can you tell i am quick to be untrusting... I guess you calling brett names if ok since you hannah... I better change the topic realy quick from getting hannah drunk to um... Perod sex..... Hell why not adam does it... Whats everylnes thoughtson period sex?
H-Bomb
11-09-2002, 09:54 PM
LOL!!! You couldn't tell it was me by the ego comment??? You mean someone else thinks that too????
LMAO at period sex. (Adam is ewwie at times.) I'd rather talk about me getting drunk.
H-Bomb
11-09-2002, 09:57 PM
And Brett, bout time for a new Deep Thought!!!! Imma take over soon if you don't!
b_v_d
11-09-2002, 11:17 PM
If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you'll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy.
passionfruit
11-09-2002, 11:41 PM
Is that sort of like saying............When Flying, ask to sit on the black box..........cos when/if it crashes, they always find the black box??????????
KANE_6969
11-10-2002, 12:51 AM
your putting too much thought into it.
Hannah did you really think you were the only person to ever tell me about my huge ego? Ha.... I'm god's gift to women Thats completely obsured......
Are funny pick up lines deep thoughts?
Do you know anything about real estate **zipper noise** Is this alot....
Man i'm pathetic hahahaha I love it
H-Bomb
11-11-2002, 01:09 AM
LOL That is sooo not a deep thought. You have this confused with "Drunken Pick Up Lines" !!
H-Bomb
11-11-2002, 01:16 AM
I think that's my favorite, or close to it! Ahhh ha haaa! Free Dummy! Slaps my knee.
ok i went into the christian book store and i saw this poster called footprints.
maybe youve heard of it
so this guy is walking on the beach and he noticed that there are 2 sets of footprints by him which is jesus walking with him.
and he notices that when he goes through his worst of times that theres only 1 set of foot prints.
so he says "jesus why is that when i was going through my worst times that theres only 1 set of footprints?
and jesus says "o well that was when i was answering the other 5 billion people on the ****in planet *******.
you stubbed your toe on some driftwood i dont think thats a major emergency cock."
and now a nice quiet little poem
I CAN'T STAND THIS HATE INSIDE OF ME
CAN'T GET A GRIP GET A GRIP ON REALITY
WHEN THIS AIN'T THE PAIN I'M USED TO, I JUST CAN'T RUN AWAY LIKE I USED TO
I WAKE UP WITH SOME GAPS IN MY MEMORY, OPEN MY EYES BUT THERE'S BLOOD ALL OVER ME
IT'S JUST A DREAM I JUST DON'T WANNA STAY, I LOOK AROUND BIT IT JUST WON'T GO AWAY
I SEE THE PIECES, SEVERED BLOODY PIECES, A LUNATIC WITH A PSYCHOPATH SOUL
I SEE THE PIECES, SEVERED BLOODY PIECES,AND MUTHA****A I'M TAKIN' CONTROL
ANOTHER LOOK IN THE MIND OF A LUNATIC, AND I ADMIT IT'S ENOUGH TO MAKE A DOG SICK
I TRUN AROUND AND THE PIGS START SHAKIN', LOAD THAT ****ER UP , BLAST AND TURN TO BACON
I CAN'T HELP IT, I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND, WHAT IN MY MIND MAKES ME WANNA KILL ANOTHER MAN
I TURN AROUND , I JUST DON'T WANNA STAY, I CAN'T SEE THE LIGHT OF ANOTHER DAY
I SEE THE PIECES, SEVERED BLOODY PIECES, A LUNATIC WITH A PSYCHOPATH SOUL
I SEE THE PIECES, SEVERED BLOODY PIECES,AND MUTHA****A I'M TAKIN' CONTROL
I'M NOT INNOCENT, NO I'M NOT INNOCENT
I'M JUST CRAZY
chinadoll
11-11-2002, 01:01 PM
Hmm, the poster, 1 set of footprints (=2 footprints?) and he stubbed his toe. =)
I SEE THE PIECES, SEVERED BLOODY PIECES, A LUNATIC WITH A PSYCHOPATH SOUL
I SEE THE PIECES, SEVERED BLOODY PIECES,AND MUTHA****A I'M TAKIN' CONTROL
Oh my... lol
H-Bomb
11-11-2002, 08:45 PM
Deffie frightens me.
its a song that i just sorta made my own i know im ****ed up but jesus christ im not that bad
KANE_6969
11-12-2002, 03:10 PM
Yeah def isnt; half as psycho as me
KANE_6969
11-12-2002, 03:12 PM
more drunk thought by kane c.....
since itys gettign close tothe holidays...Lets throw somethign to set the mood
Um
Your left leg is thanksgiving, and yoru right leg is christmas...I'd love to see you between teh holidays
KANE_6969
11-12-2002, 03:14 PM
so um back to period sex..... So um if your dream date cleebrity offered you sex.. but she was ont eh rag....... Wouldyou do her? and second would you go down?
H-Bomb
11-12-2002, 11:32 PM
Deffie, you arent ****ed you .... u just the shi_!
H-Bomb
11-12-2002, 11:42 PM
LOL @ the drunk pick up lines. I am so in the Holiday Spirit now!
KANE_6969
11-13-2002, 04:35 AM
Remind me closer to christmas
to tell the story of ho the angel got on top of the tree....It's a good chirstmas story... Should be passed through generations
H-Bomb
11-14-2002, 08:40 PM
*Shivers with anticipation!* Ohhh, I can't wait!
H-Bomb
11-14-2002, 08:41 PM
When did I become a Mad Cow and um WHY????
KANE_6969
11-15-2002, 02:07 PM
as you8 psot yoru title changes
um you cna pay limpkinwdollas to change it at the store
Idbeholda
11-15-2002, 07:32 PM
You became a mad cow because you smoked to much goddamn crack!!!! THAT'S WHY... NOW BOW DOWN BEFORE MY UNDEAD MINSTRELS YOU PUNY MORTALS!!!! *coughs and returns to his normal state*
KANE_6969
11-15-2002, 11:08 PM
well um.. .So you no h-bomb iws spoken for. And i thought i had issues
what the **** was that?
that was quite possibly the most homosexual thing ive ever seen in a thread with the exceptions of mark that_fag and utah
im speachless
KANE_6969
11-16-2002, 01:13 AM
i blame def...He always hits on me. That doens;t make me gay.. He is the queer one
H-Bomb
11-16-2002, 03:54 AM
Limp would laff at my less than 100 dollas...... he would be like..... shoooo H.... go make some money YOU COW!
H-Bomb
11-16-2002, 03:58 AM
And ummm...... yeah...... I have no comment about the crack smoking......
H-Bomb
11-16-2002, 04:00 AM
Pokes B! (Quit playing Pac Man) New deep thought time!!!
triple posting, wow that takes real skill
i was talkin about the guy that said something before you kane the fag that was talkin about his minions or some gay **** like that
KANE_6969
11-17-2002, 12:29 AM
andy dont; ids hannah she is a semi-cute blonde.. And actually nice.. Well most would say she is hot but i'm picky and she says mean things about me cuz i;m gods gift to women..... Oh sorry def for talkign **** thinking you were talking **** :P but um your still gay lmao.. And um a deep thoguht.. Does deep thoguths have anythign to do with orgasm faces .... Orgasm faces people look like they are in adeep thoguht.. Anyways tere is my deep thoguth.. WElla thought.. The rest will have to use their imagination for the deep part hahahaha
passionfruit
11-17-2002, 07:26 AM
Here's one to ponder !!!!!
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
Well Can it??????????????
H-Bomb
11-18-2002, 05:40 PM
So Ummmm, TY Andy. I AM one skilled MOFO!
(Laffs at my dorkness.)
H-Bomb
11-18-2002, 05:51 PM
FINE, ILL DO IT!!!
(Pretends to be B and posts a deep thought.)
Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's carrying a beautiful rose in his beak, and also he's carrying a very beautiful painting with his feet. And also, you're drunk.
~Jack Handey~
KANE_6969
11-20-2002, 11:54 PM
Drunk is good \~/\~/\~/\~/\~/\~/\~/
H-Bomb
11-21-2002, 09:15 PM
I agree, I should be that way more often.
Oh well, B drinks enough for both of us!
passionfruit
11-21-2002, 09:37 PM
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out"?
Mmmmmmmmmmm.........I wonder !!!!!
KANE_6969
11-21-2002, 11:58 PM
Good question!....I'm guiessing they were canadian.Tom green did some crazy things to cows.but udders do look like fuin to play with
b_v_d
11-24-2002, 08:46 PM
lol@passion
b_v_d
11-24-2002, 08:47 PM
At first I thought, if I were Superman, a perfect secret identity would be "Clark Kent, Dentist," because you could save money on tooth X-rays. But then I thought, if a patient said, "How's my back tooth?" and you just looked at it with your X-ray vision and said, "Oh it's okay," then the patient would probably say, "Aren't you going to take an X-ray, stupid?" and you'd say, "Aw **** you, get outta here," and then he probably wouldn't even pay his bill.
passionfruit
11-25-2002, 02:55 AM
Now don't get the wrong idea here...........no way am I into animals ( but have known a few rats in my time)...............
Just a deep thought !!!!!
Who was the first person to say "See that chicken there....I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's butt".
Just wondering again !!!!!
KANE_6969
11-25-2002, 02:18 PM
and whata wonderful tjought that is... .
KANE_6969
11-25-2002, 02:18 PM
That'/s pretty logical us eyour talents to be adentist, but using an xray machine is a good idea to get paid
KANE_6969
11-25-2002, 02:19 PM
If i were superman i'd read the news turn back time and stopp all the crimes
H-Bomb
11-26-2002, 08:19 PM
It takes a real man to pull off a cape and matching tights, you know. Hmmm.... or a fag.
KANE_6969
11-27-2002, 01:44 AM
I like grannys in spandex
passionfruit
11-27-2002, 02:27 AM
Me thinks I have way to much time on my hands !!!!!!!!!!
............. another one to ponder !!!
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
MmmmmmmmmmmmmmmH.
KANE_6969
11-28-2002, 02:22 AM
No one ever wants to talk sexy granny's with me :( I had better luck withthe period sex topic adam brought up
passionfruit
11-28-2002, 04:17 AM
Aawwwwwwwwww poor Kane...................Im sorry I just have visions of Granny's with droopy boobs and headbands and spandex....working out !!!!!!!!!!!
I think I will be marked for life..............anyone know a good therapist !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
H-Bomb
11-28-2002, 06:40 PM
I'd rather talk Grannys than period sex! (eslaps Adam)
Brett and I were just talking about Grannys in bordellos. I think he'd be the man to discuss this with.
KANE_6969
11-29-2002, 05:00 PM
LMAO. Oe night in cove hannah gaveme **** for booting somelamer without saying could you stand first. I was ognna play her. She tells mye i could of at least said bye. So when i got bored of playinghannah i said. "This is probably where i'm supposed to say goodbye and left. Is that mean?
KANE_6969
11-29-2002, 05:00 PM
So i wasout joggin and i seen a granny in spandex i think i did a quadruple take hahahaha.
KANE_6969
11-29-2002, 05:01 PM
Well there is nothing wrong with period sex. It's a natural human function. Why is it one of the pushed away and hid in the closet topics?
basss_
11-29-2002, 05:10 PM
lmmfao@kane on the granny in spandex post :)
KANE_6969
11-30-2002, 10:32 PM
whos bass
?
passionfruit
11-30-2002, 10:57 PM
Deep thoughts abound !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
Just another unanswered question ???????????????????
Tyler
11-30-2002, 11:51 PM
erm yea whatever u just said :P
<< 2 tired to read just post :D
KANE_6969
11-30-2002, 11:58 PM
that was asked alrwady passion.... speaking of who's basss what is the 1-800-collect chicks name ? alyssa milano how is it spelt. That angel was on the show. Man she turned out great! hahaha BVD needs to speak on this considering her and wynona ryder are his dream chicks
H-Bomb
12-01-2002, 01:36 AM
No Kane ..... it wasn't mean, it's just you. I know you don't like long goodbyes.
H-Bomb
12-01-2002, 01:39 AM
Kanes dream girl = Betty White in spandex.... Ohhhh baby! Maybe not a dream girl, just a fetish?
KANE_6969
12-02-2002, 10:32 PM
LOL you only made this post cuz you share my fantasy
H-Bomb
12-03-2002, 01:47 AM
NoWayMan I'd want something more manly like Bea Arthur
H-Bomb
12-04-2002, 01:48 AM
You know what. I take that last post back. I was drinking when i typed that. Kinda makes me wanna puke.
Butttt, I did see Betty White on that 70's show tonight and thought of ya, Kane.
KANE_6969
12-04-2002, 03:52 AM
i dunno who betty white is.... Anyways what about if she was in black lingerie instead of white? Would that do the masculine trick.. WE coulod even give her a whip and mask to match!!!!!
basss_
12-04-2002, 08:35 PM
lmfao good question
b_v_d
12-05-2002, 04:17 AM
lol
b_v_d
12-05-2002, 04:19 AM
i like the baby oil comment....makes one ponder *rubs chin*
b_v_d
12-05-2002, 04:21 AM
If you ever teach a yodeling class, probably the hardest thing is to keep the students from just trying to yodel right off. You see, we build to that.
passionfruit
12-05-2002, 06:15 AM
Not a deep thought.................just a life lesson...................
I've learned that you can get by
on charm for about fifteen minutes.
After that, you'd better have a
big willy or huge boobs.
KANE_6969
12-05-2002, 06:33 AM
what about no charm at all and just well in doubt
passionfruit
12-05-2002, 07:08 AM
You telling me you have no charm Kane ????????
Tell me it's not so !!!!
H-Bomb
12-05-2002, 10:58 PM
Oh whipssss, dude that soo changes things!
H-Bomb
12-05-2002, 10:59 PM
Oh, and Betty White, Golden Girls??? She's not the slut, the masculine one or the granny.... she's the airhead!
KANE_6969
12-06-2002, 02:36 AM
do you want to hear what you want to hear or the truth ?
KANE_6969
12-06-2002, 02:37 AM
I didn;t watch golden girls cuz well old people...... Justc uz i like granny's in spandex doens;t mean i liek granny's in tv boxes
Sometimes when I'm frustrated i like to leave a jack-o-lantern on a person i don't likes doorstep with a knife in it with a note that says "You"
KANE_6969
12-08-2002, 12:37 AM
lol good strress relief
basss_
12-08-2002, 10:06 AM
sounds like a lot of fun :0
H-Bomb
12-09-2002, 06:22 PM
If you're in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at the enemy, throw one of those small pumpkins. Maybe it'll make everyone think how stupid war is, and while they are thinking, you can throw a real grenade at them.
~Jack Handy~
KANE_6969
12-10-2002, 03:20 AM
If they are dead how will they spread the word on how silly war is though?
H-Bomb
12-11-2002, 12:21 AM
Hell, I just copy and paste. How should I know??? B is the brains here..... you should consult him.
H-Bomb
12-11-2002, 12:22 AM
Think it's time for me to get rid of the turkey?
_Killer_
12-11-2002, 01:04 AM
lol :( i dont have thanks giving where i am!
KANE_6969
12-12-2002, 11:42 AM
Hannah still has turkey?
KANE_6969
12-12-2002, 11:44 AM
is it moldy?
basss_
12-12-2002, 09:33 PM
moldy turkey yummy lmmfao j/k
KANE_6969
12-13-2002, 12:05 AM
Yuck BVD I once told you hannah was a keeper but she wont clean her fridge out :| I was way wrong about her...HAHAHA kick her to the curb she cooked hte turkey and didnt; clean out the fridge before it was modly... Do you l;et laundry pile up and dishes too hannah?
H-Bomb
12-13-2002, 12:26 AM
OMGGGGGGGG GGGGGGRRRRRRR MY LIL ICON
DORRRRRRRKKKKSSSS IT WAS A TURKEY I TRADED IT FOR THE SHAMROCK DUDE
SIGHHHHH AT YOU PEOPLE!!!!!!!
all irish people are pale drunk obnoxious people
i should know i'm one of em
KANE_6969
12-13-2002, 01:15 PM
you mean the turkey wans't left over from thanksgiving? LIL when you get bored sometimes do you stuff turkey?
aj32725
12-13-2002, 03:47 PM
at least thats what i thought. i dont know anyone who didnt save left over turkey.
KANE_6969
12-14-2002, 03:08 AM
do you save it until it is moldy?
aj32725
12-15-2002, 09:07 PM
no thats gross save it till it starts to smells.
H-Bomb
12-20-2002, 08:57 AM
I'm so confused!!!!
H-Bomb
12-20-2002, 09:01 AM
Pale, drunk and obnoxious???? Howwwww rude deffie!
I have a tan!
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